he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
