I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
