did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
