We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
