Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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