get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize