My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
