Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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