very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
