The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
