just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
