Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
