i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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