Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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