i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize