it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Panties = found
Randomize
