I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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