You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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