You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
