She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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