If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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