i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
