I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
