Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
