yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's blow job season.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
