so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
