well I can't set my house on fire every night
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
