haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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