if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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