i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
