First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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