It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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