So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
