She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
