at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
