So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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