He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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