don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
