Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
