so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
