Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize