i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
