where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
