who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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