Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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