I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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