Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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