I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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