just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
