oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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