i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She told me I should be a condom model.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
