Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
