Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
