I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
