So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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