GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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