Don't you send me to vm
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize