Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We smell like vodka and hangover
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