That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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