Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Randomize
