we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
