margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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