i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I met the friendliest cop last night
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
