If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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