I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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