That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
