There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
