Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
