One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
