In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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