Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
