I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
