I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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