I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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