Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
