gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
